2nd Problem: Environment stays the same
If you want to make a positive change to any specific habit or routine you are also going to have to change elements of your environment. Roughly a year and a half ago, my wife and I remodeled our bedroom. We simplified. We wanted our bedroom to become an oasis of peace, calm and relaxation. All the clutter out. Prior to that, we had a clothes rack that was always full. Things lying around on table tops, etc. However, in order to bring about a change we knew that we needed to first change our environment before changing our evening bed time habits.
I find that often times it’s in our human nature to neglect the fact that our environment actually influences us and our behavior. The actions we carry out are automatic responses due to the areas we find ourselves in. Take your home as an example. How often do you get up and walk through your home thinking about how certain setups or layouts affect the way you execute daily routines, from breakfast to getting your kids ready for naps, cooking, cleaning, TV time, etc.?
Make the simple assumption that the lifestyle you live today is largely due to the fact that the habits you have are by-products of the environment you live in every single day. Don’t believe me? Give this some thought?
- You want to eat healthier but are consistently surrounded by junk food. Whether that is your local eat out place or your bad choices grocery shopping. The fact that you have chips in your cupboard is going to lead you to eat them at some point.
- You’d like to appreciate life more, however, are surrounded by naggers. This rubs off. No matter how tough you think you are, if you are consistently surrounded by negativity, you too will be negative. It’s the environment you are in.
- You want to focus on one thing – like finishing your garden, or sewing a dress. However, if you are consistently confronted with all the noise of todays world from text messages to phone calls, from emails to video chat along with everything else digital (TV and so forth) how can you focus on that single task at hand? You need to make some environmental change choices
The list can go on and on but you get where I eam heading with this, no?
No change in environment regardless of how simple and stupid that change sometimes may mean can often be the difference between success and failure.
Answer: Create an environment that spurs positive habits
3rd Problem: Wanting a result, not a ritual
Here is the problem with this and this is the one thing I personally hate most when speaking with so-called professionals at seminars and others who believe to have the answer to creating good habits. First off an example. I recently attended a leadership seminar and the first question that came up was – what do you want to achieve? I was like, really? I listened in a bit longer and after about 20 minutes figured this no longer was worth my time.
You see the problem with this is that we as a society are molded into becoming results oriented people. I hear it at work every single day. We want outcomes in business just the way we want outcomes in our habits because we want to see results. The problem with this type of thinking is very simple. Goals do not produce results. You can write down any goal you want on a white board and look at it every single day. But simply wanting that goal will not deliver you any results. The catch here is the lifestyle. The way you live is not a goal. It is a process. So when it comes to creating habits you should not focus on results, you need to focus on the process that creates rituals. When you can implement those lifestyle changes then you’ll notice that those ritual have turned your behavior into positive habits.
In the words of Tony Schwartz, “A ritual is a highly precise behavior you do at a specific time so that it becomes automatic over time and no longer requires much conscious intention or energy.”
If you want a new habit, you have to fall in love with a new ritual.
Answer: It’s all about the behavior, not the outcome.
Now there are a few other things that come to mind when it comes to new habits failing, however, you will find those in my upcoming guide “Engineering Habits.” Best of all you will be able to get it right on this site, free!
That being said, I hope this spurs some thinking to your thought process next time you want to change or create a new habit.
- Focus on 1 thing
- Create a positive change in your environment and
- Look at the process of behavioral change, not the result.
Let me know your thoughts below!